Wednesday 20 October 2010

It's a love/hate relationship... Enslaved: Odyssey to the west


Dear Enslaved.
Thank you ever so much for inviting me on that road-trip of yours this week. I do believe it was one of the best I've had in years, jostling between combat and climbing effortlessly is something i don't think many can achieve, in fact, i think it may be what draws me towards you. That and the subtle beauty of the way you make me see the post-apocalyptic Manhattan before my eyes. The lush greenery presents a sense of ambience over the events that may have befallen the unfortunate creatures caught in whatever event ceased normality. Indeed, i enjoy the sight-seeing the most. But what of the company? By Jove, that Monkey fellow and that Trip, they're a lovely pair! We had a rocky start, but we all came together soon enough. I'm aware that we're still traveling together, and i suspect romance is in the air between the two, oh yes... Indeed, that giant robot dog we saw forged a friendship i don't believe could be created in any other way. Those two may have their flaws, but don't we all as human beings? I suppose that Monkey is called what he is because he was very monotone before he met Trip. Luckily for us that's soon going to change i presume. Especially with all those "glitches" we've been seeing. The narrative we've shared so far has indubitably satisfied me greatly, and i look forward to what we shall see together next!

However.

Whenever i see one of those robots... Well, it just flips my flaps! I mean, the least you could do was have a camera that worked better than as if it were an epileptic patient mid-seizure during combat! Perhaps you could even make Monkey's evade move worth a damn by making the animation happen as soon as the bloody button is pressed! Then i wouldn't be hit every fucking fight because i hadn't seen a robot before the last shitty second and then had no time press the block button! Perhaps you could make the game seen a bit less fucking linear too! I mean, i can so jump down some places that "apparently" Monkey has some fucking issue's with! Christ, it comes to situations where i'm stuck in a room, running around like a fucking headless retard that's somehow still alive, blood pouring out in gallons, hoping, just hoping there's a fucking handhold monkey will jump onto somewhere! Not only does the camera usually deny this, but usually the objects so fucking small ant's are tripping on it, big ants to be fair. Which reminds me, Trips such a bitch! You tell her next time she say's "Go take em out! I'll be here where it's safe" I'm going to clobber her! Also tell her that if i ever hear "I'll perform a scan" again i think I'm going to have to nail her mouth shut! She's a purty lass, but she doesn't half rile me up! I haven't even mentioned how many times i've failed to live because the world looks samey throughout! FUCK THIS GAME! FUCK THI-

Let's just say it's a love/hate relationship.

-Serde - Full review of Enslaved coming soon.

Image credit: www.tothegame.com

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